Hello to you all. Been a while hasn’t it? There are many reasons for why I haven’t been writing as much and I want to give you a little update on me and what I have been up to and why I am starting to loathe Facebook.
I have to say, I haven’t been in the best of places mentally recently. A lot of people might say “oh here we go”, but I don’t care because sharing your feelings is a good thing. To me, I’m not necessarily sharing my feelings, I’m more offloading. Chucking the huge weight off of my shoulders. My blog isn’t just for others to read, its an outlet for me. Unfortunately I’ve been in one of those mind sets where I don’t want to do anything, I just want to keep myself to myself. I’ve been doubting myself a lot thinking I’m not going to be good at a certain aspect of my life. I feel like I’m wasting a lot of people’s time. So basically I’ve been lacking a lot of self-confidence. We’ve all been there, where you think why bother because you’ll be rubbish at it anyway. It’s a pretty shit feeling which then spirals into other feelings because you just over think and over think. I’m very fortunate because I have a patient husband who will listen and help me through these feelings and is therefore a voice of reason. I feel like I need a huge injection of positivity. I then felt crap because I wanted to do another fitness log, but I had “‘re-lapsed” on my second week, eating my weight in biscuits and takeaways. Oops. I am back on it and have been for a week or so and I am starting to notice small changes. If there is one thing that does make me feel better it’s eating clean. If I eat a load of crap, that usually make me feel crap after. So, hopefully this makes you understand why I’ve not been around lately. I’m still here, just working through some stuff.
So I went and did something really not in my character at all. I took a gamble, I went and had a grey toner put in my hair. I fancied a change and I just didn’t know what exactly to do so I though, heck why not. At first I was completely taken aback and thought “I’m not sure if I like it”. Everyone who knows me will know I don’t do stuff like this, I don’t do change. I now love my hair and feeling very sad that it’s eventually going to wash out, noooo. So next month I’m going to have it dyed properly, all over grey dye. I must be mad. I’m pretty sure those around me think I’m having some sort of weird crisis. I’m not! Just embracing change and learning that if I like something and someone else doesn’t, that’s ok. It’s not on their head so who cares?
As you know I’m training for my race coming up on the 20th August. I’ve raised money for Cancer Research UK. My longest distance is 4 miles and I need to work it up to at least 5 miles, so that I can comfortably finish the 10k. Running is doing me good, it’s letting me blow off some steam and forget about all the other rubbish. I’m not averaging 10 and a half minute miles which is awesome for me. I’m really enjoying it and have been talking to someone’s at the South West Athletics Academy, hoping to have some coaching and possibly starting training professionally. We shall see, watch this space.
I have a love hate relationship with Facebook, but recently I’m very much hating it more. It’s ridiculous how one thing can be blown up into such a big deal. I don’t understand why people use it as a platform to be such arseholes, when in reality they wouldn’t day boo to a goose. Or those people who constantly post pictures about how amazing their life is and share 101 pictures of themselves with all their friends because they’re SO popular. Don’t get me wrong I go on Facebook everyday and I’m the first to admit how sad that is, but I love keeping up to date with what all my friends are doing. It’s days when you realise someone has deleted you and you try not to but you do take it personally. Then you start questioning what you may have done. Really I shouldn’t give a toss because these people are not my friends and never really have been. They are people I don’t care to know about. I love Facebook in other respects because I get to share things with my friends and family, I am part of a group for cocker spaniels which I love being a part of. I think the problem is that people abuse social media. Hey ho, it is what it is.
What do you think about social media and how have you changed your life when you’ve felt stuck in a rut? Thank you for reading 😁